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It’s never too late  to change change directions in the path of life. However, that doesn’t mean it will be easy. As I have discovered, any step I take towards a new route means a whole process with research having to be made, applications filled out and potential investing of my not so large savings. It becomes a matter of how do I want to invest my future. This has really put into perspective my priorities and what I’m passionate about. When I think about my priorities, a few things become clear; I don’t have a desire to move, I’m happy with my relationship status, I need to cut down my spending, and I want to be in a career path that makes happy and fulfilled. When I think about what I’m passionate about, more things start to come together; I love reading and writing, I’m passionate about the health of the environment and animals, I enjoy learning new things, and I love to cook. When I state the things I value and what is important in my life, I get a better idea of what I should be focusing on and what I have to let go of.

I have to focus on being grateful for the things and people I have that make me happy and support me. I have to focus on separating the time to practice self care. I have to prioritize my writing. I have to focus on creating and joining circles of people that share my interest. I have to become aware of my spending habits and learn to stop releasing my frustrations into retail therapy. I have to let go of other peoples expectations of me. I ultimately know what I want and what I don’t want. I alone am responsible for my happiness.

When I put all these things into perspective, I understand that there are things I can do while I’m figuring out what path I’m taking my future self into. While I wait for people to reply to emails, while I add and subtract what certificates make the most sense for me, while I apply for jobs, I can start to do little thing for myself. I found a reading circle to join, I signed up for some grant writing classes, I try to keep physically active, and I practice mindfulness while cooking.

Having written all these things, I also realize that I can do all these things because I’m privileged enough to have a job (regardless of my like or dislike of it) and have the time and access to do these things. What I realize is that because I can do these things, I owe it not only to myself, but to other people who might be in a similar mental or emotional state. I cannot just say it is too hard and give up. I have to dream, I have to hope and I have to at least try and accomplish self fulfillment.

  • Life is very short and what we have to do must be done in the now. -Audre Lorde

Fall Productivity

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I have been trying to lead a balance life. Whenever I see myself falling into my bad habits, I have been good about getting back up before even going down. It’s silly but it always helps me to have one productive day. One day in which I feel I have accomplished many things. I had such a day recently, and it made me feel great. I woke up, didn’t go workout, but instead stayed in, cleaned, made 2 batches of pizza dough to freeze, made muscle blueberry muffins, graded all my paperwork and finished writing a course outline for a new class I’m developing. PRODUCTIVE!!! I had time to go to the porch as it rained and just sip my tea. In fact not only just sip my tea, but also take some pictures.

I even got to experiment with the different settings. This was great, because it made me feel like I was not only productive with the stuff I had to do, but I was also able to do the stuff that I wanted to do.

Another thing that always gets me in a good mood is when I feel I have been productive at reading. This may sound silly, but I love, LOVE, that feeling of reading and being so in to it that you finish and you feel so accomplished with everything you have learned about life, yourself and the unknown just from that one book. In the past few days, I read And The Mountains Echoed by Kahled Hosseini, Lab Girl by Hope Jahren, A Spool of Blue Thread by Anne Tyler, Bitch Planet by Deconic and Delandro, and I even finished a book for work What the Best College Teachers Do by  Ken Bain. I even found the Read Harder 2016 Challenge and decided to fill it with the books I have read so far in the year and try to finish it up. Just Today I requested all the books I needed to finish the challenge from my local library. EXCITED!!!!!

Anyways, it’s always hard to do everything I want to do. I have to many interest and there’s not always time for all of them. I try to stay true to myself, I’m a geeky girl, who loves to read, loves feeling creative and learning, the rest is just how I pay the bills.