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It’s never too lateĀ  to change change directions in the path of life. However, that doesn’t mean it will be easy. As I have discovered, any step I take towards a new route means a whole process with research having to be made, applications filled out and potential investing of my not so large savings. It becomes a matter of how do I want to invest my future. This has really put into perspective my priorities and what I’m passionate about. When I think about my priorities, a few things become clear; I don’t have a desire to move, I’m happy with my relationship status, I need to cut down my spending, and I want to be in a career path that makes happy and fulfilled. When I think about what I’m passionate about, more things start to come together; I love reading and writing, I’m passionate about the health of the environment and animals, I enjoy learning new things, and I love to cook. When I state the things I value and what is important in my life, I get a better idea of what I should be focusing on and what I have to let go of.

I have to focus on being grateful for the things and people I have that make me happy and support me. I have to focus on separating the time to practice self care. I have to prioritize my writing. I have to focus on creating and joining circles of people that share my interest. I have to become aware of my spending habits and learn to stop releasing my frustrations into retail therapy. I have to let go of other peoples expectations of me. I ultimately know what I want and what I don’t want. I alone am responsible for my happiness.

When I put all these things into perspective, I understand that there are things I can do while I’m figuring out what path I’m taking my future self into. While I wait for people to reply to emails, while I add and subtract what certificates make the most sense for me, while I apply for jobs, I can start to do little thing for myself. I found a reading circle to join, I signed up for some grant writing classes, I try to keep physically active, and I practice mindfulness while cooking.

Having written all these things, I also realize that I can do all these things because I’m privileged enough to have a job (regardless of my like or dislike of it) and have the time and access to do these things. What I realize is that because I can do these things, I owe it not only to myself, but to other people who might be in a similar mental or emotional state. I cannot just say it is too hard and give up. I have to dream, I have to hope and I have to at least try and accomplish self fulfillment.

  • Life is very short and what we have to do must be done in the now. -Audre Lorde