I have started training for the Tough Mudder Half. A big part of the event involves climbing or pulling myself over things. Hence, part of my training involves working on upper body strength. I have to conquer one exercise in particular, the pull up. I suck at it. So much so, that I can only do one not so decent pull up. To get myself to a pull up I have been just pulling myself half up almost to a sitting position and swinging my body a few times. I can do this now twice before my arms quit on me. I feel so inadequate.
I’m beginning to learn that it’s ok to feel that inadequacy. You have to start somewhere and not everything is going to come easy. I don’t expect to be a pull up master in a month, heck I’ll be lucky if I’m able to do one decent pull up when the Tough Mudder Half rolls around, but that is one more pull up than I was able to do and that does count for something. At least I’m trying, at least I’m out there pushing my body to do things.
The older I get the more grateful I am for the body I have. It’s not the body I wanted when I was growing up, with all those teenage insecurities, but its a strong functioning body that I have learned to love. The more I appreciate this, the more I realize that there are people out there who due to sickness can’t get up, can’t do many things we take for granted, the more I want to push my body to it’s full capacity.
I may not be able to do a pull up yet, but I have a body that is at least capable of trying and that is a beautiful thing.